For this week I am assigned at the Obstetrics and Gynecology Ward at St. Louis University Hospital of the Sacred Heart (whew!)
My duty starts at 7 a.m. and ends at 3 p.m.
My life is boring. I didn't feel fulfilled with my duty today.
I feel like a totally useless piece of meat in pink uniform, a white apron and a tiny nurse's cap.
Dang! (in gangsta accent)
I need to do something useful tomorrow...
Then, when I went on my lunch break I got pissed off too. I saw someone I didn't like.
She's such a hypocrite. I just gave her my "sweetest" bitter smile and went on my way. Food takes first place over catfights. Not that I get into any...
And when I was about to get off duty, someone who wasn't even a close friend of mine wanted to borrow my laptop because their group was unable to bring one (actually they forgot. DUHmb thing to do).
I almost didn't lend it to them because first of all, I don't trust them with my laptop.
But I did (DUHmber thing to do).
Because my roommate happened to be their classmate and I trusted her.
So I told them that my roommate should be the only one to touch my laptop.
Now, I have to go write my position paper...
Every night as I lay on my bed and think of how my day has gone, I feel a soft nudge in the region of my heart. It seems to want to remind me that it harbors too much... Too much of what? Too much sadness, too much loneliness...I lie in wait as I stare at a starless sky... Waiting for what? For the moon to shine and the stars to appear, winking at me as if they know my secrets...everything that I hold dear...every ache and every joy... and yet, I think they do...
I stare out the window... staring, staring, staring... but actually seeing nothing of the sunshine and the beauty that is the world outside... No tears fall from my eyes, instead I choke back.
When will the leaves fall? When will my winter pass? When will I step out of the cold and into the warmth?
I pray... and yet I do not pray...
I whisper, then, my secrets to Someone, hoping He hears them...
Slowly, slowly, I fall into a deep slumber.
Hoping that upon awakening, I will no longer find myself invisible.