It's who I am... How I think... and what I'd like to share to the world...

For this week I am assigned at the Obstetrics and Gynecology Ward at St. Louis University Hospital of the Sacred Heart (whew!)

My duty starts at 7 a.m. and ends at 3 p.m.

My life is boring. I didn't feel fulfilled with my duty today.

I feel like a totally useless piece of meat in pink uniform, a white apron and a tiny nurse's cap.

Dang! (in gangsta accent)

I need to do something useful tomorrow...

Then, when I went on my lunch break I got pissed off too. I saw someone I didn't like.

She's such a hypocrite. I just gave her my "sweetest" bitter smile and went on my way. Food takes first place over catfights. Not that I get into any...

And when I was about to get off duty, someone who wasn't even a close friend of mine wanted to borrow my laptop because their group was unable to bring one (actually they forgot. DUHmb thing to do).

I almost didn't lend it to them because first of all, I don't trust them with my laptop.

But I did (DUHmber thing to do).

Because my roommate happened to be their classmate and I trusted her.

So I told them that my roommate should be the only one to touch my laptop.

Now, I have to go write my position paper...

Every night as I lay on my bed and think of how my day has gone, I feel a soft nudge in the region of my heart. It seems to want to remind me that it harbors too much... Too much of what? Too much sadness, too much loneliness...

I lie in wait as I stare at a starless sky... Waiting for what? For the moon to shine and the stars to appear, winking at me as if they know my secrets...everything that I hold dear...every ache and every joy... and yet, I think they do...

I stare out the window... staring, staring, staring... but actually seeing nothing of the sunshine and the beauty that is the world outside... No tears fall from my eyes, instead I choke back.

When will the leaves fall? When will my winter pass? When will I step out of the cold and into the warmth?

I pray... and yet I do not pray...

I whisper, then, my secrets to Someone, hoping He hears them...

Slowly, slowly, I fall into a deep slumber.

Hoping that upon awakening, I will no longer find myself invisible.