It's who I am... How I think... and what I'd like to share to the world...

I keep waiting for the right person to come along and sweep me off my feet. Well, not literally, but you get the picture.

Every time a guy comes along and pays special attention to me, there is this "sixth sense" that tells me, "Nope. He's not 'The One'." Sounds cheesy like Matrix's Morpheus cheesy but hey! It's true and it works for me. It saves me from the unnecessary pouring of time and effort into something that can never work out; something that, from the start, was doomed to fail.

Sure, I've broken guys' hearts but that doesn't mean I take pleasure in doing that. It's really difficult to tell a guy "Let's just be friends," and expect that you WILL be friends.

I don't want to enter a relationship with a half-baked-me. It would be unfair to both parties. I would be unhappy, he would be unhappy and the relationship would've been a total waste. I cannot feel the willingness to commit myself wholly to one person just yet because I haven't "met" him yet. I feel, that if ever there would be someone right now, I'd just end up doing something foolish and ultimately making an enemy out of an angry ex-boyfriend, or he'd make an enemy out of me.

Sometimes though, this sixth sense can fail me. I would tend to ignore the tell-tale signs. Like for example, the guy just ended a relationship a few months back. My gut feeling would immediately sound the alarms that this guy is on the rebound. I never want to end up being the "rebounder's girlfriend" because that sucks! I hate being a substitute and worse, being a reserve. But because he's just so nice to me, I'd turn off that internal alarm.

I always knew it wasn't the right time for me... I can always feel it... But it's not a fool-proof thing. I'm glad that before I could fool myself into believing in something and someone, a very good friend of mine gave me a gentle tap on the shoulder to say, "Hey, don't force yourself. Don't waste time and effort. It's not worth it."

Thank God for good friends who watch your back.